my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize