I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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