Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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