some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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