sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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