grandma shit on top of the toilet
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
