hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
