I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dignity is for republicans.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
