I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
