is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
