Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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