I'm going to jail i love you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize