hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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