when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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