sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
