thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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