I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
