Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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