At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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