I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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