Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize