I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
