But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
