How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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