apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize