I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
