PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
