So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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