You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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