She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize