nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
