It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
