i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
