My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
