You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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