listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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