great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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