Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
