Betty ford says i'm here all night
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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