At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
