DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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