It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm always down for nudity.
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