He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
