i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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