He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
