Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
