The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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