sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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