I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
