a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
