Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
