i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize