Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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