you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
