After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
