well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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