It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
