she was so not down for the gang bang
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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