You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
