The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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