Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
