3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
