Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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