Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
