Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
