Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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